Is your friend’s ex fair game?
So. You’re swiping along on the hottest dating app, hovering over your kitchen counter scraping what remains of the nearly empty peanut butter jar when a familiar face slides onto your screen. You slide through their photos and it makes you want to slide right into their dm’s. They seem different than what you remember. A little older, a little hotter, way more put together. So, you swipe right.
It’s a match.
Or maybe you ran into them at a mutual friend’s party and got to chatting. The conversations revolved around the same things back when you were the third wheel. Only this time there’s flirting. And what was that? An arm graze? Yes. An arm graze. And your friend isn’t at the party. Where are they, by the way?
No matter how you found your way into the web of your friend’s past, one thing is true: you are stuck and it’s going to get messy.
In order to avoid a mess, there are lots of things to consider, and in this post – we will dive into each of them.
1. define the FRIENDSHIP (DTF)
The first and most important thing to consider is your friendship. You know your friend. You know the in’s and out’s of your relationship, you know how close you really are. You know if your friend will be understanding of your interest in their ex, and you also know if your friend will burn you to the ground if they found out that you even thought about them for longer than 3 seconds.
2. DEFINE THE RELATIONSHIP
The second thing to consider is your blossoming relationship. Is it really that serious? Or are you both just DTF (the other dtf)? If there are real, genuine feelings involved with your friend’s ex, but you’d also like to keep your friend – it’s up to you to weigh out your options.
3. DEFINE the historY
The third thing to consider is: what is the history of your friend and their ex? Was it an ugly, messy, toxic relationship and even worse break up? Or was it amicable and easy? These factors matter, for your own sanity as well as the respect of your friend.
With all these things in mind, you have to make a decision. I unfortunately can’t make any decisions for you but hopefully this article serves as a bit of guidance. No matter what, honesty is the best policy.
Above all, be honest with yourself.
